Sheriff Fatman

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
Sherrif Fatman

Now Sherrif Fatman started out in business as a granny farmer
He was infamous for fifteen minutes
And he appeared on Panorama
Then he someone got himself on board the Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
With a Prince of Wales Award for pushing valium and amphetamines

Move it on up behind second base
Behind Nicholas van Whatshisface
At six foot six and a hundred tonnes
The undisputed king of the slums
With more aliases than Klaus Barbie
The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
Just about to take the stage
The one and only
Hold the front page
Fatman's got something to sell
To the capital's homeless
At the Crossroads Motel for the no fixed aboders
You can live life in style
If you sleep in the closet
If you flash him a smile take your two pounds deposit
There's bats in the belfry, the windows are jammed
The toilets aren't healthy, he don't give a damn
He just chuckles and smiles
And laughs like a madman
A born-again Rachman
Here comes Sherrif Fatman

With his valium, amphetamines, sick notes and his phoney prescriptions
And just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen
Deadheads, crackheads, bunkbeds and breakfast
Wake up you sleepy headcases
Check this

Moving up behind second base
Behind Nicholas van Whatshisface
At six foot six and a hundred tonnes
The undisputed king of the slums
With more aliases than Klaus Barbie
The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
Just about to take the stage
The one and only
Hold the front page

Moving up behind second base
Behind Nicholas van Whatshisface
At six foot six and a hundred tonnes
The undisputed king of the slums
With more aliases than Klaus Barbie
The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
In a hatchback from Notre Dame
The one and only
Sherrif Fatman

In goes another expert
And now I'm losing my patience
So cold I'd rather work at the United Nations
He's buying up houses for the has-beens and helpless
From Lands End to Southend and Chelsea
There's bats in the belfry, the windows are jammed
The toilets ain't healthy, he don't give a damn
He just chuckles and smiles
And laughs like a madman
Ladies and gentlmen, I give you...
Sherrif Fatman